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Jeff (son) drove over Monday night to be with us for a couple of days.  On Tuesday morning, Donnie got up to eat breakfast, and he was communicative for about 30 minutes, and he ate a good breakfast.  We’ll take it!!

Yesterday we had to increase his Dilaudid to 3 mg/hour (up from 2 mg/hour).  He is very pain controlled.  Unfortunately, he is quite psychotic, due to his pain meds.  All night long, and all day long, he is having fantastical dreams.  He is throwing baseballs, counting to three with his fingers (maybe its for striking out), throwing fishing line on a rod and reel, hugging Kaia (grandchild), yelling out loud, talking with Brianna (grandchild), talking about all kinds of crazy stories that make us laugh, and being happy and funny.  Darlene is with us today.  Donnie was lying in the bed with his eyes closed telling me, “Don’t worry, Darlene took care of it.  She kicked their a#*@!  We were dying laughing, and Darlene was strutting around like Super Woman.

Donnie ate dinner at the table with us tonight (Wednesday).  It was Donnie, Momma, Darlene and myself.  He hugged his Momma so sweet in the kitchen while she was preparing our dinner.  We served our plates, and headed to the table.  Donnie said the prayer.  He thanked God for family that cares for him, and for God that is taking care of his needs.  It was a special moment for all of us.

The good news is that he has very little pain, he is not nauseated, he is eating 3 small meals a day, and he is quite happy.  His dreams must be like he is tripping on LSD.  He is never angry or mad.  Even Rachael and Jeff were here Monday night, and he had them cracking up.  He’s being his funny self, without pain and nausea.  I am thankful for that for sure!!

Although he is still eating and still walking around in the house with assistance, he is not able to carry on a conversation with us.  He goes into his dream world, and starts talking about lots of stories in his head.  He will make sense for about 3 or 4 sentences, then “off to the races” with the thoughts his mind is conjuring up.  We are all very grateful that his world is full of happiness.  At this time, you couldn’t ask for more.  We are so grateful for such grace from God!!!

Even at the dinner table tonight, he took a bite of food, dozed off to sleep, and then woke up laughing.  He told us he dreamed Bubba (1st cousin) was in a 1942 Sportster, in a tux, smokin’ a stogie.  He was looking SHARP!!!!  Hahaha!!! Still dreaming about his family that he grew up with and loves so much.

He is getting lots of Haldol for his psychosis, and that seems to be helping him.  I have had very little sleep over the past 3-4 days, as Donnie has been very, very busy day and night.  Hospice is sending a nurse tonight to stay with him for 8 hours, so I can get some much needed rest.  They are going to do that for 3 nights.  I feel like I’ve been working the night shift for several days in a row, even though family is here supporting us.  So grateful for Hospice, and for our kids and our family that check on us, stay with us, and care for us.  I would be in a puddle in the corner without them.

As always, we cherish your prayers.

Love,  Donnie & Tina

Rachael brought Brianna to see Pa (Donnie), and they stayed with him Saturday morning for me.  Bri, almost 8 years old, has been asking questions about Pa.  She even said, “I hope Pa isn’t going to die.”  Rachael made the decision to talk to her about it, since Bri was talking about Pa that way.  Bri had witnessed my Mom, her great grandmother, cross over to heaven just 3 years ago, and remembers it well.  After Rachael talked with her in “8 year old language,” Bri said, “Out of all the people in my life, Pa is the most fun!!!  He’s more fun than Daddy or Uncle Dave!!!”  Sorry Daddy and Uncle Dave, but . . . out of the mouth of babes!!!!  That really made Donnie smile!!!!  He’s always had the heart of a child when it comes to our children and grandchildren!  We all laugh (the grownups in the family), as he was sort of the “pied piper” at family reunions.  Look for a bunch of kids, and you would find Donnie in the middle of them acting the silly fool!  They loved him!

Donnie was his hilarious self for a moment last night.  We were watching the Bucs game, and he mustered an “aye matey” pirate look for a touchdown, which we sent to Ronnie & Darlene, the passionate Bucs fans in the family!

Donnie had significantly increased pain last night.  Two weeks ago on Sunday night, we went to the Hospice Inpatient Unit due to our inability to control his pain.  At that time, he was placed on a PCA pump with Dilaudid 2 mg per hour IV through his port.  This controlled his pain very well.  When he was discharged, the pump was programmed for him to be able to give himself an extra 1 mg of Dilaudid every 30 minutes.  He has given himself an extra dose maybe 3 or 4 times over the past week.

Yesterday, in 24 hours, he took 8 extra doses of Dilaudid.  This means he took 1 mg of Dilaudid every 2-3 hours on top of his basal rate of 2 mg an hour.  He has a lot of discomfort in his abdomen, where his disease is.  This discomfort/pain wakes him up from his sleep.  As you can imagine, he is not very stable walking around due to being medically sedated.  He has lots of hallucinations and psychosis, not only at night, but during the day.  He walks using a walker for stability, or holds my hand.  He’s pretty wobbly.

I was on the phone with Hospice last night and this morning.  They are very supportive with ideas to help him, which helps both of us immensely.  I am grateful for their critical thinking and problem solving.  The nurse came in this morning to assess him, and change medications to meet his needs.

Please continue to pray for Donnie’s comfort.  He is not a complainer, and has an amazing inner strength and spirit.  This attitude has continued even through these difficult times.  Of course, I am blessed and grateful he is that way.  Joyce (Donnie’s Mom) is here with us, holding our hands, walking with us.

May God be with Donnie.  May he feel His presence.  I pray he is comforted by all of us that God has put in his path.  We are grateful for your kind words and prayers.

Love,  Donnie & Tina

Donnie continues to be at home.  He is still able to see family in very small doses, which brings him lots of joy.  His Mom continues to stay with us most of the week, just standing by to love on us when we need it.  It is so wonderful to have her with us.  Occasionally, I catch them both napping! lol

He is pain controlled with a PCA pump giving him Dilaudid 2 mg every hour.  He is able to give himself an extra 1 mg every hour, but he only needs to do that about once a day or less.  This just shows you he is very pain controlled.  His pain remains about a 2 on a scale of 10.  He is very pleased with this control (me, too!!).

He still battles nausea, and his tummy never feels good any more.  He wakes up at 10 am each morning to take his meds and eat breakfast.  He eats about 1/3 of the food he used to eat.  Some mornings he will eat 1/2 cup of grits with a few pieces of fruit.  The next morning he will eat grits and 2 scrambled eggs.  Some days, he just eats a bowl of cereal.  Every day is different for him.  He is able to stay awake for about an hour after breakfast, then he is back to sleep until 6 pm.  At 6 pm, he gets up and eats a cup of soup, or some vegetables and cornbread.  Once he eats, he is awake for about an hour or so, then back to napping.  Currently his weight is 151 pounds.

Beau, our oldest son, graduates from nursing school on December 14, 2016.  Donnie asked Beau several weeks ago if he would like to have HIS nursing pin from 2005 when Donnie graduated from Seminole Community College (now called Seminole State College).  Beau took Donnie’s nursing pin, and told his teachers about it.  He brought home a letter to Donnie on Thursday that his teachers wrote.  It honors Donnie.  He was so touched, and so blessed by the kind words.  The letter says:

This introduction will be read prior to Beau’s pinning (nursing school graduation):

Beau is an SSC School of Nursing legacy.  The pin that he is receiving was gifted to him by his stepfather, Donnie McFarland, who graduated from SSC in 2005.  His picture, along with the rest of the Class of 2005, hangs in the Nursing Lab.  More recently, Donnie McFarland worked night shift in the Florida Hospital ICU where he served as one of the preceptors.

Most noteworthy, however, was Donnie’s mentoring of Beau.  Sadly, he battled pancreatic cancer during the entire time Beau has been in the nursing program.  Despite that, he has encouraged and guided Beau throughout the program.

Today we are privileged to pass Donnie’s pin on to Beau as a symbol of commitment to his profession, his patients, and future of nursing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

WOW!  Donnie was so honored and pleased!  What an awesome encouragement that letter was to him.  It made his face light up.  No one requested this of the school, they just did it on their on volition.  God bless them for caring.

 Today, I put together a bouquet of flowers for Donnie in a vase that my birth mother, Marion, gave to me years ago.  Marion was crazy about my Donnie!!  The vase was originally my grandmother’s, and Donnie and I think it is quite lovely.  He will be surprised when he wakes up from his nap today.  It’s good to have God’s beauty around!

Thank you for your prayers for pain and nausea control.  Those prayers are being answered.  Comfort is so important, and he is comfortable.  What a blessing.

Love,  Donnie & Tina

On Saturday morning, Jeff (son) and Flora brought Kaia to cuddle with Pa at the Hospice Inpatient Unit.  She was the best medicine EVER for him today!!  They came all the way from St. Augustine just for the day to see him, and help us come home.

Donnie’s pain is managed.  He has not had any nausea in 4 days.  He is eating pretty good.  We have a whole new medicine regime that is working. So many praises . . . and the best praise of all . . . Donnie came home today!

We got home, and my brother Don and sister-in-love Elaine (from Memphis) came in right behind us.  Here is where things started to go downhill!!  I said, “Something is wrong with my dryer.  The “check the vent” alarm keeps lighting up.”  So Don, Elaine, Jeff and Flora all went into PROJECT mode.  Really, it was comical!  Good news:  Donnie was sleeping through the whole ordeal!  After about 2 hours, I had clean floors under my washer and dryer, a new dryer hose, an electrical receptacle secured to the wall (that was swinging in the breeze), large chunks of lint suctioned out of the vent that goes up the wall, and the louvered doors were put back up.  I am forever grateful!!!!!!

Wow!!!  I am so grateful they took care of this for me!!!!!  Jeff and his family left around 4 pm to go home to St. Augustine (after showering off the lint!).

Ronnie and Darlene came around 6 pm tonight.  Don and Elaine were still here, too.  We picked up lasagna and soup from Olive Garden, made a big salad and homemade sangria, and had our own little celebration for Donnie being able to come home.  Donnie ate a good dinner.  Then he took a shower for the first time in 7 days.  You know that felt good!!

He is exhausted due to the very busy day he has had, and he is relieved to be home.  We are all relieved he was able to eat dinner with us and stay up until 10:50 pm, enjoying family, even if he had to close his eyes a bit.

Thank you for your prayers!  We are so grateful for the many answers to prayers that culminated today in Donnie coming home.  Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much love,  Donnie & Tina

Thursday was a day of working through new solutions for Donnie’s problems.  It has been AWESOME working collaboratively with the Hospice MD’s and RN’s, finding answers for him.  They are so bright and intelligent, thinking “out of the box” to help him, and listening to our concerns.  They have given Donnie a quality of life he could not have had without them.  We have been with Hospice for 3 weeks now.  I am forever grateful to them for their professionalism and caring!!  They are certainly in this fight with us!

Donnie has had no nausea for 2 days.  Apparently, Haldol 1 mg IV twice a day is the answer for him.  He has received it IV for 2 days now.  Today is “test” day:  We are giving Haldol to him orally.  If he has no nausea by tomorrow morning, we are pretty sure we are going to be able to go home.  As you know, this is his wish, to be home, so we are praying that this becomes a reality.  For his sake from this day forward, there are no visitors except for our precious children, grandchildren, Donnie’s Mom, and our brothers and sisters.

Today, Donnie’s Mom was with us at the Hospice Unit, and Rachael (daughter) brought Brianna and Sophia to see “Pa.”  When they arrived, they ran to him and kissed him.  They saw Pa’s shirt:  Pink Floyd, and Bri was asking questions about why it said, “Dark Side of the Moon.”  I mean, it doesn’t look like a moon!  Donnie decided to play a Pink Floyd song for them.  He played, “Money.”  The girls danced, I danced along with them, and Donnie had a big smile on his face.  What a sweet memory.  They only stayed for about an hour, as Donnie can’t take much stimulation, but he really loved the visit!  It made his day.  After that, he ate lunch, and then slept the entire afternoon away.  That’s ok.  In his words . . . it’s worth it!

My brother Don and my sister-in-love Elaine are coming in from Memphis today for the weekend.  Saturday, Jeff (son) and Flora are coming to visit from St. Augustine with Kaia.  That will be another special day for “Pa.”

Beau (son) is spending the night with Donnie tonight . . . his own personal student nurse!!  When any of the kids are with Donnie, it gives him such a peace.  Me, too!  Please pray that Donnie has a quiet night, full of rest, no nausea and no pain, and that he will be able to come home tomorrow.  That would be BRILLIANT!!

Thank you for all your words of encouragement, and especially for your precious prayers on Donnie’s behalf.

Love,  Donnie & Tina

Thanks for putting up with my more frequent blogging lately.  Donnie is quite fragile, and his changes from good to bad happen during each and every day now.  I want to try to portray an accurate picture of what is going on with him.  I also want to tell you about his difficulties, and follow up when he is better.

Tuesday night he was restful, and had a good night with David (our son that spent the night with him).  I came in Wednesday morning at 6:30 am, and Donnie whispered to me, “I feel so much better . . . I’ve been thinking about some things I would like to do!”  I told him that was great!  Then he sat up on the side of the bed, said he felt nauseated, and his day went downhill in a New York minute.  He  got Ativan for his nausea this time, which made him hallucinate, and the bad news . . . he was still nauseated an hour later (ugh!).  Then he vomited.  Then they gave him Haldol, and he was toast.

Jeff (son) came over from St. Augustine today.  It was great for Donnie, because Jeff gives Donnie a lot of comfort.  He snuggled in the bed with him (this is very comforting to Donnie lately), and talks quietly with him.  When D started feeling better around 3 pm today, Jeff took him for a very slow ride in the wheelchair around the Hospice facility, which gave D a little motion sickness.  He is very, very sensitive to motion.  He did get over it, and eat a very good dinner around 4 pm that Jeff picked up for him from Boston Market.

Jeff left late today (he let me go home and take a nap).  Joyce was here all day with Donnie, too.  Joyce called Uncle Eddie and Aunt Judy (staying in a hotel down the street from us), and they were able to come visit with Donnie for about an hour this evening.  After they left, I came back, and Donnie had a pain level of 6, so he took a boost of Dilaudid on his pump.  He is sleeping now.

Rodger came in to see Donnie for about 30 minutes tonight.  He drove 2 hours from Brandon just to come over and lay eyes on his brother, and see how he is doing.  It is great to have such loving family support at a time like this.

Please continue to pray for pain management and nausea control.  The pain management is very effective.  Pray we find a better solution for his nausea.  We will continue to stay here at the Hospice Inpatient Unit until we find something that is more effective for his nausea.

We are so grateful for all your prayers, and for a mighty God that answers them.

Love,  Donnie & Tina

Today was a different day.  Rachael spent the night with Donnie in his Hospice room.  He woke up at 6 am when the doctor came in to evaluate him.  He was alert, and he and Rachael had a grand ole time talking about all sorts of stuff for about 2 hours.  Rach said she had not heard him talk like that in a very long time.  He just seemed to have the energy to do that.  He also ate breakfast:  Scrambled eggs, grits, french toast, english muffin, and orange juice.  Remember, he had not eaten anything for about 48 hours before this.

Donnie’s pain is being managed on 2 mg of Dilaudid every hour IV.  He has not needed any extra boosts of Dilaudid for breakthrough pain, which is really great.  He says he has no nausea.  What a blessing!!!!!!!!!!

When I arrived at 8:30, he was talkative and alert.  Such a difference from yesterday.  He ate lunch at noon:  Lasagna, broccoli and Boston cream pie.  I can’t remember the last time he felt like eating two meals by noon.  It is wonderful to see him not have nausea!!

This afternoon he had a few too many family visitors at one time, and the stimulation was just too much for him.  He had to take Phenergan, as his tummy was uneasy.  Of course, that put him to sleep, which helped him a lot.  All the family went to the “family room” and visited together, which was great!  Nothing like a bunch of McFarland’s together having a party!  The good news is that Donnie was able to wake up enough to eat dinner tonight:  beef and noodles, green peas and carrots, and pumpkin pie.

I must say I did not expect him to be awake, alert, and pain managed as well as he was today.  It has been great being here at the Hospice Inpatient Unit, where they are finding new solutions for his issues.  We are so grateful!  We will continue to stay here until we have a few more issues ironed out.  It has been a really great experience for us!

Keep praying for continued pain relief and nausea relief.  God has granted that request for now, and we are so grateful!!  We appreciate your prayers and kind words.  We feel so loved!

Love,  Donnie & Tina

Donnie and I are so grateful for all the prayers that are being answered.  As you know, pancreatic cancer is quite painful.  Donnie said many times in his journey over the past 21 months, “I’m not afraid of going to heaven, I’m worried about what life looks like before I get there!”  . . . and here we are, battling pain and nausea.

Hospice of the Comforter has been more than amazing in their care of us.  They respond quickly to us when we are in terrible situations, and come up with great solutions for our problems.  Last night, Donnie’s pain increased to an 8 on a scale of 10.  He has not had debilitating pain like this for over a year.  We knew this was the pain from his cancer.

After attempting to throw large doses of morphine at him last night, without relief, the final straw was when he vomited violently.  He was exhausted and “done.”  We called our Hospice nurse (for the 5th time in the middle of the night), and she had us admitted to the Hospice Inpatient Unit in Altamonte Springs.

As soon as we arrived at this beautiful facility (only 15 beds), we were greeted by the most wonderful people and taken to our room.  The nurse and doctor came in and spoke with us at length, and then put a plan in place.  They accessed Donnie’s port, and started a PCA pump of Dilaudid 2 mg per hour.  He also has the ability to give himself a boost of 1 mg per hour for breakthrough pain (which he has not needed at all).  Also, they gave Donnie Phenergan for his nausea.  It worked great for him.  Praise God!!

So currently, Donnie has a pain level of zero.  That is amazing after the terrible night of pain he just endured.  He is a little “flaky,” as he is pharmaceutically “stoned.”  He hallucinates quite a bit, trying to swat bugs on his arm, talks in his sleep, and is pretty much high as a kite.  Actually, he is quite funny, and still very kind to everyone . . . a welcome change from the intolerable pain he had the night before.  I must say his pain control is a huge blessing.  We are hopeful he will have a painless 24 hours (he sure needed the relief), and we can wean him down a bit tomorrow.

Today, our family surrounded him with love by being near him.  This was a request of his . . . when it gets close to his homegoing . . . that he has as little pain as possible, and that his children, Mom, and brothers and sisters are near him.  Of course our 4 children are always around loving on him, and his sweet Mom, and our brothers and sisters are all glad to add to the love!!  Today turned out to be such a special day for him, full of blessings and answers to prayers!!!

Rachael is spending the night with him tonight, to give me a good night’s sleep and love on Donnie a bit.  Donnie is not eating anything.  He is sucking on ice chips and an occasional popsicle.  He is asleep the majority of the time.  We will see what tomorrow holds in helping us meet the goals of pain control and nausea control.  If we get that down, we will be coming back home where he wishes to be.

Thank you for your faithful prayers!  Continue to pray for pain control and nausea control, and that Donnie would be able to come back home.  By the way, thank you for signing your posts.  It is wonderful to see who is writing us!  xox

Much love,  Donnie & Tina

Sunday evening, Donnie started having what he thought was abdominal cramping and discomfort.  In a couple of hours, he was in significant pain (8 on a scale of 10).  I called Hospice, and they were able to increase his pain medication significantly.  Donnie is taking 75 mg morphine ER every 8 hours now, along with 30 mg morphine liquid every 2 hours.  It is barely keeping his pain at bay.  We are both thinking the pain is from his cancer.

The pain from pancreatic cancer is difficult to manage.  Donnie is very uncomfortable even on all the pain medications listed above.  If we cannot keep him comfortable, he may have to be admitted to the Hospice inpatient unit to get a PCA pump for IV pain control.  This may not be far off, as he is nauseated along with his pain, so it is difficult to swallow medications.  Once they get him controlled, he could return home, where he wants to be.

Rachael spent the night with us Sunday night to give us support.  Nanny (Joyce) is coming Monday to stay with us and help us.  Please pray for pain control and comfort for Donnie.

Love,  Tina

Nanny (Donnie’s Mom) has been with us for over a week.  She is our angel!  She cooks the food we all love to eat, and she loves on us, too.  She pretty awesome medicine for both of us!  Jeff came over to spend the night on Sunday before going to the FSU game in Orlando on Monday.  It was a great evening of visiting and catching up!

On Monday morning, Bri and Soph ran over to say hello to Pa, Uncle Jeff and Nan.  It was so sweet!  We love having them live 2 doors down from us!

Donnie and I went out to eat breakfast at First Watch today (Tuesday).  It was Nanny’s treat.  He ate a great breakfast, and he stated he was feeling really good today.  He felt good during his meal (which is not always the case).  He made a few phone calls to friends, and is still awake after 2 pm today.  We are so grateful for the good days and moments!

My left knee is doing great.  I still have to be careful with it, so I don’t injure it again, but it is working great without any pain.  I finished my steroids today.  I am not having to wear a brace or use any assistive devices.  Hallelujah!!  Thanks for all your prayers!!

We felt like Nanny could go home today, as we are doing pretty well for now.  We are so grateful to have her through our “rough patches.”  Family continues to come see us and love on us.  It is so great!  We forever appreciate each and every one of them for all they do for us!

Keep praying for quality of life for Donnie.  God has been graciously granting that to him for sure.

Love,  Donnie & Tina