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Anxiety under control

As you all know, Donnie is a fighter.  Not only has he shown his strong spirit throughout his journey with this disease, but now that his spiritual mind is trying to go to heaven, his physical body continues to “fight the fight!”  This has caused him some special problems.

The Hospice doctor that cared for Donnie the past two days has decades of experience in the Hospice environment.  He was taken aback at the amount of Dilaudid it was requiring to keep Donnie in pain control.  If you remember, he was on 132 mg of Dilaudid an hour for about a week.  Dr. Brown told me that was double the amount he had EVER had a patient on.  He could not believe Donnie was alive on that dose, and especially that he was able to be as strong as a bull and fight during this time.  Donnie continues to baffle the medical community.

The good news is that Donnie was always pain controlled.  The new difficulty to address was extreme terminal anxiety.  Donnie would wake up from resting quietly, and within 2 seconds would be determined to get out of the bed to go to the bathroom (even though he has a foley).  This strong determination happened very quickly, and he would immediately get up out of the bed.  Of course, he is quite weak and sedated, so he was not aware of himself.  He did not know he could not walk or stand.  Our family was almost functioning like bouncers with an unruly patron.  Donnie was incredibly strong, and able to resist our strongest family members for 45 minutes to an hour.  These episodes happened over and over, and back to back.  It was exhausting for us, and dangerous for him.  It seemed so incredible to us that he could even have such strength when he is so debilitated.  This went on for about 4 days, with lots of intervention that did not work well, before we went to the Hospice Inpatient Unit for answers.

The doctors changed all his medications from oral to IV for improved efficacy.  They put him on IV phenobarbital for anxiety, and awaited his response.  He was still able to manhandle all of us pretty well, so they doubled his dose to 130 mg every 6 hours.  He continued to have wrestling matches with us, and he was still able to be sly to accomplish his goal.  What must be going on inside that head of his!  They had to put him on IV Valium 5-10 mg every 2 hours, and Haldol 5 mg every 4 hours.  Even after all that, last evening he was still able to fight me and Beau for about 45 minutes.  Again, the medical staff was flabbergasted at his ability and strength, despite all the big doses of meds he had on board.

Of course, you must understand, this is Donnie’s body fighting to stay on this earth.  Its interesting to watch him, as he is determined, sometimes yells, “I’m pissed!” because we are restraining him, but he is not ugly to any of us, and does not use foul language.  He is just kicking our butts!!!!!!!!!!

Today, the anxiety seems to be under control.  No outbursts today to get out of the bed.  He is quiet and sleeping all of the time.  He does not speak, and is not making many noises to communicate at all.  He is transitioning for his beautiful homegoing.   We are grateful for the healthcare providers that are finding solutions for Donnie to be safe and comfortable.

It was a 2 day process, but Donnie’s anxiety seems to be controlled.  We will remain in the Hospice Unit where he can receive rapid intervention and IV medications to continue to support him.  He is quiet and peaceful, and we continue to be at his side at all times.

Be encouraged.  Donnie is transitioning to the place where he has aspired to go all his life . . . to be in the presence of the almighty God, to be with him on his right hand, to sing praises with his beautiful voice, to be where he will be reunited with loved ones that have passed on before us (this is God’s promise to us) . . . oh what a reunion that will be.  What a joy Donnie has been for the cause of Christ on this earth, and God has chosen to call him home.  We will miss him forever, and love him enthusiastically forever, but are happy for him to be complete in Christ.

Donnie is a strong person, so I cannot begin to guess the day or hour he will pass from this earth into eternity.  For now, we will cherish our moments with him.  Please continue to pray for his peace and comfort, and for ours.

Love,  Donnie & Tina

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Tina we pray for you and Donnie daily. I know God is watching over you both. You are such an inspiration to us all.     Love you joe and hal

My sweet Donnie, you are an amazing man.  I know you are spiritually ready to meet your maker.  We will all miss you when you are gone, but all our memories will carry on.  You have made a huge impact on my life.  Life does not seem fair some times.  God has a plan, we just don't see it.  You touched so many lives going through this illness.  You showed us how to fight this ugly disease. How to love, how to let others see Jesus through you.  I love you and will miss you.  I will look forward to the day I get to meet up with you in heaven when it's my time.

Donnie's heart is with you, and his love for his family gives him the strength to stay here. In God's perfect timing he will transition into our Heavenly Fathers beautiful kingdom and we will rejoice for him. Tina, I am thinking of you and your family constantly, and praying that as Donnie's journey here on earth ends, you will find yourself ever closer to our God who loves us so.

You are a beautiful and graceful woman to share his fight with us. Please know that you are being lifted up and I pray that God's peace that passes ALL understanding envelop you and yours as you love your beloved into Heavens gates.

Dearest Tina

You and Donnie are such a blessing to us all. We continue to pray for you and love . Sandy and Rick Jubinville 

I continue to pray for donnie-mac and you tina he has always been one of my best friend even though I played baseball with Ronnie-mac on my team I really got to know him well God bless you both!

Donnie is amazing and you and your family are amazing!! We continue to pray for comfort and peace for all of you!! With love R and Leah 

Love and prayers to all of you during this most trying time. God is watching over you. God Bless and care for you.

Dear Donnie and Tina,

Continuing to pray for peace for both of you and strength for you, Tina.

Love, Susie Mc

Oh Donnie, as sad as this is for those staying behind, what a blessing it must be to have your heart and mind ready to meet THE Almighty. What sweet peace awaits you my friend. You are, and will continue to be, one of his greatest angels. 

xoxo

Jacquie and Gil

I continue to pray for all of you, and ask God to meet your needs and requests. I know how hard this is, what mixed feelings you have. It took my Nanny three weeks for her soul to separate from her body, and the look on her face when she did is something I will never forget! She gasped as if astonished, and smiled like I hadn't seen in year as she tried to raise up to follow the Lord. This is truly a homegoing, and the reunion with all the loved one's will be a joy for him! You are loved and admired by many. Thank you for sharing the journey, I just know it is going to work in someone's life…in Gods' plan…for somebody, somewhere.

Kelli

 

Tina,

You have been so gracious and honest with his situation. My great-grandfather went though similar actions. He was almost 102 years old, but acted like the youngster that his brain was providing. Just as you will remember some of the humorous actions, I still do after 39 years. Donnie has been blessed and we join you in praying for him during this stage. God still has blessings that are headed your way, and will be revealed in due time. We praise Him for all things. May God's Holy Spirit continue telling you how special Donnie's homecoming will be.

Love, Tommy and Suzie

Thank you so much for the updates.  My prayers have been constant for Donnie, you and your family.  Donnie is such an incredible person – I am not surprised by any of the wonderful things you have said about him in your updates.  He is a precious soul and a warrior for the Lord.  We understand how this transition is going to be so fulfilling for him and tough for you and rest assured that we do not need to grieve as those who don't know Christ. What a blessing that is!  I love you dear one.  Keeping you in my prayers.

Tammy xoxo

Continuous prayers for Donnie to have a peaceful smooth transition and for peace for the whole family. 

 

Theresa Stevens(White)

Not a more moving tribute to a friend to all and a servant of Christ. you hsve described Donnie to a ",t"…..we all want boundrois words ..but the more simple and heartfelt mean the most.   My prayers are with you all.

Love you lots

Sheila Beres

I am so glad to hear that he is resting better. I know that the rest of the family needs their rest as well. As I read this latest update – my mind went back to the. Days of Little League. That's where I met Ronnie & Donnie and we became best friends! I probably spent as many nights sleeping at their house as I did my own! We were inseparable & I love this family like my own! We were the first string on our Baseball teams – Ronnie pitching, Donnie Catching & me playing first base. It is hard to reconcile with the fact that Donnie is getting ready to transition to his heavenly home! But I rejoice in the memories we made as kids! I love you Buddy & I will always carry your memory in my heart!

God Bless you Tina! God is so great and he knows the moment he will welcome Donnie home. Prayers are being answered with all the comfort measures. Thank You for keep us informed. Know that our prayers continue and we can only send love to all!  Cindi McNiff 

Tina, this is so beautifully written. I teared up reading it! I'm praying for each of you individually and corporately. I've not had the privilege to meet Donnie, but he has touched me through the updates you provide us – always reminding us that Donnie is so at peace. Lots of love sent your way.

Donnie's journey has been a true testament to his faith. It has shown us the true power of prayer. I want you to know that going through this journey with you and Donnie it has strengthened my faith even more.I love you both and your family. We will always be together in our hearts. Love, Cheryl

Tina, your words and message are absolutely beautiful.  We are praying for calm and continued comfort for Donnie, and peace and comfort for you and the entire family.  Our thoughts are with you constantly.

Much love,

Meg (Vargo) and George Cook

Beautiful words for a beautiful family. Tears flowing not all sad but reading your words. Thank you for sharing your words story and love with us. Praying for all during this time. Love so much to all❤️❤️🙏🙏

My heart breaks for your family.  Tina you and Donnie are amazing! Your love for each other and God are what we all should strive to be like. My love and prayers are with your family during Donnie's transition from his earthly life to  heavenly life. May God wrap each of you in his arms and give you peace and strength. 

This is so beautifully written. We love you all so much and are here for you for what ever you need❤️

Love, 

Ryan, Lisa and Bella 

Tina – you are a strong lady. God has his hands on you to write so beautifully to comfort all of us that love you and Donnie. Donnie is one lucky guy to have had you as his partner in love!!! We love you both to the moon and back!  Lots of prayers coming your way.      Elaine

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